all my life i have just been average, never over achieving and also never underachieving...i look back on that now and realize i should have done more.  i should have stayed in dance, i should have finished trying out for the dance team (i went to on try out day and then quit), i should have done my homework.  basically there is a whole list of things i should have done, but can't- so there is no point on wishing for the past.   but maybe if i had done some of the things then that i realize i should have done then maybe i would have (at least) graduated with honors, not be in the "dumb-dumb" program at concordia, and just maybe have a chance at ANY scholarship. 

i am honestly a good person at heart, for once i just wish that there wasn't always someone who is just barely better...